so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize