walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
