I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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