i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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