I smell stomach acid.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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