I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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