Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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