it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I AM VODKA MAN
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
