Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
