if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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