I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
