I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
