He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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