Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
