I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
