conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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