Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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