I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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