Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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