There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So here I am, sexting at work.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
