I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
