i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
