First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
