You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
