Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
