I'm so fucking centered right now
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
