He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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