My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
