Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
