By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize