Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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