Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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