Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
