I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
