is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
