There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
