New invention idea: vibrating tampons
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
