I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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