I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
MIDGETS
????
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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