it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
