She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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