Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
