Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Welp...herpes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
