the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
