We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I smell stomach acid.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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