we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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