around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
