how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
