apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
