may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
