So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
