Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
