Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
