I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
