ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
