i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
