I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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