If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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