I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
