I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
