i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
