Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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